For many years, "scientists" have been forcing the evil, unproven "science" upon us. "Science," as they call it, is unproven and difficult to understand. Fortunately, top Scientographers at ScienceFactz™ LLC have been able to disprove even the most widely-held "scientific" facts, in this case, the Periodic Table of Elements. The Periodic Table of Elements was conceived in 1411 by John S. Period. "Scientists" paid him 14 gold gallons for each element he discovered, so, naturally, Period made up a bunch of non-existent elements, namely all of them. "Scientists," as they always do, blindly accept whatever anybody tells them, which is how we now have more than three elements. Fortunately, ScienceFactz™ has discovered the truth behind the elements: there are only three. Air, the lightest and most abundant of all the elements, is classified as anything clear. Examples of Air include air, glass, ice, water, clear plastic, and outer space. The second element is technology. Technology is anything very shiny and expensive. Most things that "science" classifies as "metals" are actually made of Technology, with the exception of aluminum, because that is made of the element Evil. All things that are neither technology nor Air are Evil. This includes all living things (except robots).
Lastly, there's the element Orange. Very little is known about this Element, except that it is mined from the middle of pumpkins. It is not considered a full element because there are only three elements total.
Special thanks to our Head Scientographer
No comments:
Post a Comment