Good News, Everyone!

As of today, August 28, 2010, at approximately 1:41 AM EDT, ScienceFactz LLC would like to announce that it has signed a ten-year contract with The Prescott Group and Aperture Science Laboratories.  This new exclusive power, or as we call it, "The Axis of Science," will ensure maximum profitability and and is sure to be beneficial for all parties involved.  For a long time, ScienceFactz LLC has greatly admired the noble work of these two companies.  This new alliance will allow us to broaden our horizons in the field of "science."

Projects we plan to collaborate on include:

• Human corpse disposal technology
• Toxic waste-to-food processing
• Teaching monkeys how to use explosives
• Inventing counter-air bag technology
• Ways to get away with corporate fraud
• Advanced computer hacking
• Lunar displacement and containment
• The effects of bears on newborns
• Cloning and resurrecting deceased dictators
• Planet-wide sunlight-obstructing technology
• Fish-shaped WMDs
• And many more!

We hope you are as excited for this alliance as we are!

On another note, ScienceFactz LLC is looking for test subjects for its latest, top-secret project!  If you are interested, please call 1-800-278-8736.  A party representative will arrive shortly thereafter to pick you up and take you to the newly-redone Aperture Science Testing Facility.

Important Announcement!

I have a very important announcement to make! That is the end of my announcement