Attached was a caption that read as follows:
1. Acquire boats
2. Pretend to sail around the world
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
This is irdisutible proofs that Magellan and all subsequent explorers were, in fact, phonies.
Now that we have established why nobody could have ever sailed around the Earth, I will reveal my new revelation as to why the Earth is believed to be ballular. What you are about to see is a picture taken by our satellite from our space program, NAZA. It contains inquestionable evidences that the Earth only appears to be flat. Be warned, this image is very shocking. It has not been tampered with, with the exception of the labels that have been added for your benefit.
That's right! There is a giant mirror in outer-space, the same type available at your local Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It is our hypothesizz that the mirror was placed there by Poseidon 9001 years ago to create the illusion of a much larger ocean, thus making his step-dad Zeus jelly. As you can clearly see, the mirror reflects the image from the opposite side of the Earth Circle to the other, thus making the illusion of a sphere. This explains why genius-woman Sarah Palin thought she could see Russia from her window. In fact she could not; it was merely (mirrorly, get it?) a reflection produced by the almighty Space Mirror. This explains many claims that have surfaced of people being able to go past the horizon. They were never, in fact, past the horizon. They just thought they were due to the holograms produced by Space Mirror.
In conclusion, we should all thank Space Mirror for the wonderful work he has done by keeping us from falling off the edge of the world into Hades nevermore. Thx!
